Thatcher Espen. You are so truly you. So strong and beautiful and dreamy. You have changed my world so completely. Even after your sister taught us how to truly love you came and taught us more. When I ask you "do you know how wonderful you are?" you actually take a moment to consider the question, look me straight in the eyes and say "me? yeah?". It's utter perfection. Just like when you hug me and curl into me or grab my cheeks for a straight on kiss...or say you miss Daddy when he's left just a few minutes before... or talk about your uncles out of the blue... or wave to a little baby in the grocery store and say "hi friend!". It's coming from this place in you that's just so full of love. You seem to be bursting with happiness sometimes and it takes me by surprise how wise you already are. Even in your sadness and anger you only stomp away for a minute before running back into my arms or calling me from your cross legged seat behind a door somewhere.
Today is one of those spring days where the rain is making everything greener by the minute. You helped me rake in the yard and clean the chicken coop. You held those chicks in your hand so gently and called each one friend. You took off your clothes as you always do and ran around laughing and playing some naked super hero game. And then when you'd fully exhausted yourself you asked for num nums and a happy nappy. You still refuse to sit in your own seat but that's ok, I realize more and more everyday how big you're getting and how soon you won't fit on my lap. I don't look forward to the days you decide you can do without happy nappy time. I love the moments you grab your books and cuddle right into my arm and yawn. You always fall asleep staring at a page of the book, studying it. Today I listened close as your breath got more even as the rain came down harder and harder on the roof. We were in my bed and I could see out to the field just over the top of your head. The feathery wisps of your white blonde hair blended in with the field and the sky. I tried to keep my eyes open to remember it forever.
