Popping the Pain Bubble

This has been a physically difficult year for me. I've had sporadic ailments throughout my life from seizing stomach pains as a child to migraines that started a few years ago and have literally knocked me down but now aches seem to be piling up. I've got a medicine cabinet getting fatter with unprounouncable prescriptions that could together kill a strong horse. Although I've had these issues here and there I've been blessed with an overall healthy life which I give thanks for all the time. The issue now is having these momentary breakdowns with two energetic, attention needing kids on my hands. This morning I was completely debilitated. I had a migraine that twisted me into a whimpering pulp of useless mother balled up tightly on the couch. I threw up. I watched Thatcher play with legos so sweetly and quietly until I dared close my eyes and got a large lego punch in the bridge of my nose. I picked up Tessa from school with dark glasses and a hat on. My choices today were to either medicate myself out of the pain and not be able to pacify Thatcher with nursing or to forgo brilliant western medicine for tea and hopefully some nap time. I chose the latter after giving my nausea medicine a go (success!) and half a muscle relaxer for the tension part of the headache (failure). We napped together this afternoon which required significant bribing and threatening. We soaked in the tub, read one million books, drank gallons of tea, drizzled dark chocolate over sugar cookies and snuggled. I let them take care of me too. And now they're in bed. I lay with this bright screen next to my little Minnow, recording a painful and somehow sweet day. Reminding myself it's not all rosey all the time. It's exhausting but coming out on the other side, suddenly free from the pain like I am now is euphoric. It's like labor in a way. That clarity, the relief, the sense of feeling fine. We don't recognize how important it is till it's gone. So there it is. Thank God for the release of it. Thanks be for all my blessings.